How to deal with difficult situations in life

It is my birthday today! 

I miss my husband very much today. Although I miss him everyday, but my birthday was very special for him. He always took a good sari for me on this day and pampered me. Now it's more than two years I have been living without him. After my husband's death, now I can very well realise the value of my children. This was the best and a very precious gift that my husband gave me in his life time. Children make our life meaningful and this is the only reason for which I yearn to live and take care of my children. I have three children, two girls and a boy - all of them are so responsible and sensible I really feel very proud about this. After such a sudden and shocking experience, they suddenly became so mature and responsible. My elder daughter is married but younger daughter and son are studying so I have a big responsibility to settle them in their lives. I know I can do it and I will.

   

Instead of criticizing any situation, let us use our time in something productive - this is the funda of my life. Complaining is a terrible habit, those who complain constantly do not wish to take responsibility for their actions. So please stop cribbing about what we don't have and look what is there for us. Our mind cannot be satisfied with either this or that, so never complain and try to utilize your mind in difficult situations. When we are going through the best phase of our life we never ask God - why me, because we take it for granted but if we lose our loved ones - we think why is this happening to me alone, our pain becomes unbearable due to the impact of the situation on us, we don't even recognise that this is an integral part of life's evolution. We need to cultivate the faith that this is the darkness before dawn and it will accelerate our personal growth. Main fear in such a situation is that how will I survive without any support in this big universe, but these setbacks are only the fear of our senses and to overcome that fear, we have to be very strong inside only then we can face the situation and cope up with this very intelligently and smoothly. I think when you lack inner strength, always put your energy into growing not griping. When you gain your inner energy you will become immune to external challenges. I have always believed that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way, we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value. This in our inner power, it makes us confident so that we can deal with any kind of situations in life.every body in this world goes through crises, insecurities ,illness etc. complications arises most often because we take things personally and too seriously . a rigid approach that expects things in a specific way only makes the matter worse. get rid of negative thoughts from your mind and  become  less complainer and more thanks giver than your problems will automatically dissolved. here are some points for overcoming very painful situations of life-----1 ) faith --    we need to cultivate faith that what ever going on is the darkness before dawn and it will accelerate our personal growth. 2) this is the law of universe you can,t change it , so try to learn a new lesson from any difficulty.  3) main fear from these setbacks is to survive without support, so try to become strong inside to cope up with the situation.every day is a new birth in time -holding out new beginnings, new possibilities and new achievements. the secret of both mental and physical health is not to mourn for the past , not to worry about the future but to live in the present moment .

FAITH

Faith is your inner conviction. In reality, you are nothing with the potential of every thing.

Never lose faith in yourself. You can do anything. Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow in. If we have faith in ourselves, nothing is impossible. It is the energy that can make things happen. It is the greatest blessing that God has bestowed upon us - if you have faith in God you can live in stability and equanimity. Faith is the spirit that sustains life, it is the ray of sunshine that lightens up life. A beautiful fragrant flower that blooms even in suffering.

But faith without work is dead. It is being repeatedly proved that the things of this world and our own possessions will not be sufficient to keep us happy. People are getting increasingly addicted to a materialistic culture. In the race for bigger and better, we tend to neglect relationships, we forget to love one another. It means people are becoming more selfish. So in the absence of faith, you can't move forward either in relationships or in life. Don't limit yourself, you can go as far as your mind. What you believe, you can achieve - so don't lose faith. Faith is the power that helps us to connect with the Supreme. We all are a part of infinite and that is God. - uniquely present in all of us. You are a spark of his glory and you will get peace only when you merge in Him and this is called faith. Our real worth is not gain through education but through humanity. Faith is composed  of the heart's intention - without faith there is no knowledge, because light comes through faith. Faith brings advantages like a sense of purpose and direction, the strength to deal with challenges. It is the power that comes from a fearless heart.

Faith calls out the divinity within so miracles can happen.

LOVE

LEAD SUCH A LIFE ,that when you die ,people may mourn you and while you are alive they love your company.if you can dream it you can do it. Love is the strongest thing in this world. stronger than hate ,stronger than death.Love is not an emotion but a choice.love creates the opportunities to heal wounds and to find peace.Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy,wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion. Love is our nature when love fills us and overflows in to our words it becomes compassion.compassion is loves fragrance,Love is complete in itself and does not need to be supplimented by anything.Genuine love essentially commits itself -first giving the best from the heart with no expectations of return. The spirit of god works within man to produce love that does not keeps a record of wrongs because love is unconditional. We experience ourself in the things we love more,that's why when we lose something we love we feel hurt or unhappy. so we are not just living in our body but also in the objects and people we love. we are all made up of  small units of life. there is one life that covers all the other lives. love is eternal,neither it is born nor does it die. in making love we make another our means of happiness. we do something for another only when we have some hope of getting something from him-means we desire the fruit. That's why our love may turn into hatred at any moment.love is like a flower in blossom. like food and exercise love is also our necessity for life. emotions add colour to our life. We should know that we cannot please every one all the time. You must not let your life run in the ordinary way , do something that nobody else has done before because life is a creative process not a journey. you can be creative only if you want to enhance the beauty of life,be creative means you love your life.A life without love is like a sunless garden.if you want to know true love-you must observe the love of mother for her child .This is the gold standard of love. The fragrance of flowers spread only in the direction of wind but the goodness of a person spreads in all directions. you love your family ,you love your religion, you love your country but this is not true love this is limited love,transformation of this limited love into divine love is the goal of spirituality. Love is an inner energy which grows by shairing. jelousy kills love ,possiveness kills love- Love needs freedom.Love is our underlying emotion we desire throughout our life. Nature of love may change as we evolve  through different stages of life.From the day we are born the need of human affection is in our blood.no one is born free from the need of love.Love creates a blissful enviornment,it is the source of all positive emotions and energy .         LIFE IS A GAME AND TRUE LOVE IS A TROPHY.

Anger & Fear !!!!

Anger, fear and jealousy are the worst of all emotions. They make our life miserable! Do you know what is anger? It is just temporary madness, a product of fear, but you can get a hold to it and move on with your life. Anger needs to be thrown out of your body, because suppressing the anger inside your body can harm you. Use this energy for good work. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way, but how we react to it all depends on us. Our life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. Anger is a weak emotion, but with practice it can be controlled and used to make this world a better place to live. Anger is totally a normal human emotion, but when it gets out of control, it affects the quality of our life. Three main approaches to tackle anger are-                                                                                                           

1) suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behaviour.
2) control your outward behaviour.

3) whenever you start getting angry, focus on something positive, so that you can calm down inside.                                                                                                                                                                               

Anger is one emotion that can destroy everything. It makes you lonely and fearful. When anger grips a person, he is not in control of his actions. Forces of anger and hate have always being organised , while forces of love and compassion have been disorganised. This is why we say -  Love is blind. Love and compassion are the best tools to deal with anger. There is nothing wrong with God's creation. Misery and suffering only exist in our mind. To have a body is to suffer; suffering is not holding you, you are holding suffering. It all depends on how you draw these burdens around you.   

                                                                                                      

Curiosity about the unknown has always been a fearful territory. It's like taking a ride on a roller coaster. You may fear it but you still seek the thrill. The fear of losing makes a person insecure, the fear of hunger makes a person greedy, the fear of being upstage makes you competitive. In short, fear is the most identifiable emotion in a human being. When a person goes to see a horror film, somewhere inside he is challenging his innermost fear, testing his limits to see how far he can go. Fear is a response to our life situations which takes away our confidence. Everyone experiences fear at some stage in life. We must understand that fear is wired into our body system by nature, it is a useful emotion that makes us choose the options that keep us safe. Everyone is trying to overcome  different types of fears -  failing in exams, losing money or body or himself! But as we know nothing is permanent in this world, we have to deal with this sensitive emotion very carefully. In our bid to play safe, we let ourself be enslaved by FEAR . It is only a fear of failure because we all want success and growth all the time, which is just not possible. 

Relationships!

Today, I want to talk about relationships. Most relationships that fail in today's scenario are the ones where everyone is begging for happiness. When two beggers get married, they become poorer. But if you start giving to each other, there would be magic. Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. You are not the best at everything. So learn to accept each others faults and choose to celebrate each others differences. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship. We sometimes reach to a point where circumstances get out of control. We may not know what to do. I think this is a good time to do nothing. Just let go and watch. In relationships people do hurt each other and create misunderstandings. The result is bitterness, anger, frustration and what-not! This all causes unhappiness. Forgiveness is the only way by which we can end such bitter situations. A little more acceptance from your side can make your relationship very good and strong. There is no situation so bad that it can not be transformed into a good one. Everything in this world keeps on changing -  nothing is permanent. The same goes for such situations too. The best formula for a good relationship is - "Do the same for others as you want them to do for you". Be sincere and faithful, the key is to give without expectation. Relationships are for happiness and security. The very idea of relationships is to make our life more comfortable, peaceful, beautiful and happy. Relationships sour primarily due to ego but try not to allow your ego to (mis)use you. It is a tool if you know how to use it and it will give you many wonderful things. Our circle of belongings depends on the extent of our ego. Inability to compromise and forgive can create humongous problems in your relationship.life cannot  be without relationship, it also causes a sense of dependence and possessiveness but it has a glowing depth and joy which increases by the time . the most wonderful thing in life is to find a partner for the life time with which  you can make your own family.

Silence ...

When creation happened, there was silence. Silence is the most powerful sound of this cosmos Before you speak, you ask yourself - is it necessary, is it true or does it improve upon silence? Language is only an agent to express sentiments. Silence is not just the lack of noise, it is a the state that transcends speech and thoughts. It is a kind of meditation. Silence benefits the entire humanity in a subtle manner. It is a state when words cease and powerful thoughts begin to penetrate the deeper side of mind. In the light of silence, all problems dissolve. When you silence your mind, higher power of brain get activated. When you make your mind still, you are able to access higher energies from nature. Everything emerges out of silence and goes back into it. So, if you want to create some magic in your life, delve into silence for some time. This will evolve you and give you the deep knowledge of creation.

Look at the examples in nature - trees, flowers & grasses grow in silence. The moon, the sun and the stars, all move in silence. We also need silence to be able to touch souls. Silence is a source of great strength. Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refuse. I have often regretted my speech, but never my silence. Silence is the true friend that never betrays. It is the state of mind where our five senses are resting by the grace of wisdom and purity of mind. Silence is the first door of spiritual eminence. Silence is the most effective medical therapy known to mankind. It has the potential to cure mind,body and soul. the power of life and death lies in the tongue means words are so powerful that they can either build or destroy you. so we rather use words very carefully or be silent because silence is the best way to avoid so many problems of life .

Life!!

You are not here accidentally, you are here meaningfully. There is a big purpose behind you. We all have come on this earth for some days to play, we are a guest on this earth so every body has to go from here after some time. Body is an instrument by which we can act and play our role on this planet. The whole of your life from the moment you are born to the moment you die is a process of learning. This whole process of accumulating information gradually becomes our knowledge, which is essential at certain level of our life to find a way through all the turmoils. We have to cultivate the feeling to see how the knowledge is used for a good purpose. Price is what you pay, value is what you get!

Life is always miserable - when you know your own value, you will not cry in any situation. Greatest challenge of life is to find who are you. Being happy with what you have and eliminating desire will make you free from stress. Every body is born with a gifted talent - identify it and invest your energy in it, You will always be happy and successful. Life is mobile,it flows like water in a river. Time flies as if it has wings; time and tide wait for nobody. A fallen leaf can never be placed on the branch it was born on. A good example is human life. Your childhood, your youth can never be return in life. The only thing that remains is just memories of the past. Time will change, the condition of your body will change, then why try to halt the flow of time. It is better to go with the flow, always remember the good times. Don't expect too much in life. Expectations are always painful. Past is gone, present is bypass and the future is yet to come. So why feel depressed, just enjoy the life as it comes in front of you. Human birth is priceless. Human being is the greatest being on this earth. Even the Gods have to come here through the human body. Therefore be awake and make the best of this priceless human body by developing the deep love in your heart for everyone. Take very good care of your body, because we can't do anything without it.

Happy at Sixty:-D

What do you mean by age? It is nothing more than a number. This is only the time we spend on this earth from the moment we are born. As we proceed on the pathway of life, we gain so much of knowledge and experience. That's why the older generation is more experienced than the new generation. Is there any science to live agelessly?. No, it is an art! 

Looking good and ageing well are an essential part of our life. Growing old need not be a graceless process. In fact it is important to retain grace as we age. A comfortable old age is the reward of a well spent youth. The most beautiful makeup of a women is passion. It is essential that we keep seeking knowledge - learn a foreign language, music, do sudokus or solve crosswords; do anything to keep your neural pathways firing. It keeps you young. Exercise daily to keep your joints flexible. Yoga is excellent for anti-ageing. Age is strongly related to your state of mind. There are people in their 70s who are more active than those in their 20s.

If you are passionate, love challenges and don't allow boredom to set in, you will feel younger. Share of grey population is approximately 9% of the country's total population. These are the people who hold loads of knowledge and experiences that can be utilized effectively to handhold youth, nurture society, mentor junior's, support a good cause and endless other avenues. All this is possible only when they feel respected, supported, cared for and continue to feel loved and wanted. Productive channelization of their time and experiences can make tremendous changes in our society. They can work as an extended arm of the family and make the home happy. This would be a humble beginning towards keeping the smile and pride alive on the faces of our seniors. If we want to transform structural inequality and embody the highest aspiration of all people to uphold human honour and dignity, we must have to do it. 

No longer being burdened with looking younger, enjoy the freedom and empowerment that comes with age and wisdom. So age with grace, intelligence and sensitivity. Lead such a life that when you die, people may mourn you; and while you are alive they love your company. ageing is a natural phenomenon and must be embraced . as a person ages his body weakens physically but not his mind,and physical limitation  is no longer a disabling aspect of life . all one needs is a developed mind and capacity to think and learn, in other words as one ages his mind becomes more competent with years of wisdom and experience. in old age the mind continues to produce as many neurons as it did in earlier age. ageing is not the beginning  of a countdown but it is the time for a count up . the world can benefit greatly from the wisdom of aged, in fact this is the nature,s way of enabling man to pass on his wisdom to succeeding generations because new generations are always in need of this unique gift. old generation is a prolific source of  guidance and advice . the key aspect of old age is maturity, not longevity.

A Shocking Truth

My husband's death was such a sudden shock for me. I couldn't even understand the situation; I was totally numb. "What will happen now, I don't even know how will I survive without him" - such were the questions bouncing in my mind. But after sometime, I realised the situation and took this shock as a stepping stone of my life. Shock is a great educator, it sets the process of brainstorming and then a whole new mindset takes shape in us, a new human personality emerges. Shock stimulates your mind and unfolds your hidden potential. So this is only the greatest positive factor in our life. Actually shock is not an accident, it is the language of nature that speaks in the language of shocks. Shock treatment is the law of nature -  you may call it a challenge or a nature call. If you are facing some problem in life, don't be negative because nature always tries to give you a lesson to unfold your hidden potential. If you use it wisely, it can turn your failure into success. Nature is the best guide and it always acts for the betterment of the humanity. Try to understand the lesson hidden in it, because all this is a part of divine planning. Nobody can change it. This is eternal. Those who listen to this silent voice of nature are destined as super achievers.
       There is nothing that is purely ours ,every thing in this universe is created by god ,every possession we have is given by him he can take it back anytime . Every personal crises can be a powerful teacher towards fulfilling the purpose of life . life is always shocking but you must never appeared to be shocked ,no matter how good or bad it is .every phase of life will passes with time because nothing is stable here. life is very complex with its unexpected twist and turns,we must learn to have a confidence in ourself so that we can face any kind of situation in life. sudden loss of our loved once in life gives a sudden shock and creates deep trauma in mind and heart. time does heal it to some extent but it still remains as a scar inside ,life is not to concern oneself with what has been lost ,but by wise planning to avail of what is still left now we have only one option to find a way of adjustment between our ambition and available resources. when we meet real tragedy in life we can react in two ways - either by loosing hope or by using the challenge to find our inner strength. we don,t even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward. in times of tragedy people do amazing things, this is the irony of life. Tragic events in our lives has not been caused by our actions .adversity is supposed to refine human character . we find that the growth  of any kind takes place only after pain and  only human beings have the potential of converting their suffering into achievement. tragedy does not depends on circumstances but it only depends on our response in that situation. change for the better is always comes after a hopeless situation,when pain becomes unbearable it turns into remedy deep pain and trauma gave birth to stronger determination means traumatic occurrences also have positive sides. every person needs a shock treatment this is the course of nature without passing through it you will not able to achieve great success.everyone is born with a great potential and this comes out only in difficult situations.shocks are alarming reminders to connect with our inner source of wisdom. weather we like it or not , loss is an inevitable part of our existence it can come into our life in many different forms. at each turn of life a profound beauty is waiting to unravel itself, looses may also bring hidden opportunities for our growth. this is the right  time to start exploring your potential, do not try to save it for another life time. we are a part of the cosmic self and come into existence to fulfill the divine agenda

          

Success or Failure

Success in every sphere of life is almost everyone's ambition. Light is shallow, darkness is deep. Light is always bounded, darkness has no boundaries. Light comes and goes, darkness is always there. Light can be created, darkness can't be created - it is eternal. All this is the same as success and failure. Situations are never the source of failure. It is not the impulse of external which is hurting you but your inner translation is the real cause of pain. Failure always appears to help you to progress; never mind how hard you fall, always remember to pick up and get back on your feet because success lies in being able to get up every time you fall. One who is well armed for the battle of life and possesses good qualities becomes successful and prosperous. A single minute success pays for the failure of years. 

No matter how dark the night may be, one small lit candle can dispel the darkness!